Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Up late, little sleep, mind running. And bugs.

For those of you who know me, you know that when I am overwhelmed, anxious or freaked out, I tend to over think things.  I have officially reached that point.

The less-than-two-week countdown has begun.  I have 10 days (considering it's past midnight, so it's Wednesday), T-E-N, ten days until I depart.  Holy moly.  And, here I am way up past midnight, blogging when I should me resting to gear up for the next days packing/preparing adventure.  Fun times.

Worry #1- Flying into San Pedro Sula and making my way to Copan Ruinas with all of my stuff, in one piece, safely.

Currently worry #2- Bugs.  Go ahead, you can chuckle.  You all know that I am NOT a bug person.  Blah!  But, Honduras has all sorts of things... one of them being scorpions.  Really? A scorpion? Oh man.  And, cockroaches, spiders, other creepy looking things.

I have to remind myself that I am doing this to get out of my comfort zone, learn more things about myself (will I actually be able to live with these... creatures one day?) and be more open.  I also remind myself that volunteers wouldn't still be going if someone got seriously injured or died from a bad bug bite or attack.  ... right?

Ha, these are the things I am thinking about now.  A little window into the musings of my mind. :)  So many people have asked me what I think my plans will be when I return from Honduras (out of valid concern and interest, as I did leave an amazing job).  I usually respond with something like, "I really don't know. Maybe I will return to Children's, but at least I have the option of going somewhere else."  Usually the person then nods in understanding and we move on.  But, in my head I am thinking, "I have NO idea!! I haven't even left yet!" My focus right now is on the aforementioned AND surviving the packing/seeing people/trying not to panic.  I am a little preoccupied freaking out about the present, that I really have no time, nor energy, to freak out about the future. :)

One day I will laugh about this and tell the story to my grandkids.

Please pray for me.  I need all the extras that I can get.  Oh, and Happy Advent!  Christmas is cominggggg. :)

Thursday, November 24, 2011

A little bit of thanks.


I try to be thankful most days, but today I'll write about it. :)  I have so, so, SO much to be thankful for.  God has truly blessed my life in such amazing ways.  My wonderful and supportive parents, family and friends.  I don't know where I would be without them.

For YOU, for reading this blog, even though it's not very exciting... but knowing that you are reading it means a TON.  It even gives an extra bounce in my step!

For Nuestros Pequenos Hermanos and Friends of the Orphans for giving me the chance to really make my idea/dream a reality!  Because of these amazing organizations, I am going to have one of the most exciting/terrifying/awesome journeys of my life!

For my education, cause without that I would not be a nurse, and most likely not be doing any of this.  For my previous job, giving me the skills and confidence to live out my dream.

And for the amazing opportunities and experiences I have had throughout my life, making me the person I am today.

May God Bless you all!  Have such a wonderful day with family and friends!

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Do not hide your face from me; in you I put my trust

If any of you pray the Liturgy of the Hours, you may recognize these words as an antiphon (a saying said before the Psalm is read) during Night Prayer; or you may just recognize part of it from Psalm 27:9.  

ANYway, as I was praying Night Prayer last night, I was really struck by this particular antiphon.  The writer of Psalm 27:9 seems to be crying out to the Lord for His help, asking Him to not turn away.  And, it's a common acclimation one makes when in distress or time of need, right?  But, I read it from the Lord's perspective (this is not the first time, but it just jumped out at me in this way... God clearly wanted to tell me something!).

So, imagine God saying to you, "Do not hide your face from me, in YOU I put my trust."  Um, whoa.  Think about it, we have all heard our entire lives that we have a purpose, God has a specific purpose and path for you, me, mom, dad, brother, sister, wife, husband, daughter, son, grandma, grandpa... get the idea?  Now, sometimes that plan is found easily, and sometimes it takes a while with a few wrong turns or detours here and there.  Either way, we all hope to find the purpose of our lives and what we are supposed to be doing.  And you know what, God wants us to turn to Him, rely on Him and completely trusts us to find it.  He trusts us that we will fulfil the purpose He has set out for us.  God has put His trust in US.  In ME.

I don't know what you think about that, but I find that to be some intense stuff.  God has put His trust in me?  Little ol' crazy me? It really makes me think about my life and what I am doing with it.  If God has created it and trusts ME to fulfil a purpose, it must be important.  And, every single person's life in this world is important, too.

I think that is why my Honduran Adventure is so important to me.  I truly believe this is what God has planned for me, right now, at this time in my life.  To be honest, I am not sure that I know what His plans are for the rest of my life, and that's ok (I have to remind myself of that quite often, though... b/c I would really like to know!).  He will reveal it to me when I am ready, so that I will be open to hearing what He wants, just as it worked out for this (REALLY hard sometimes...).

It is also important because the kids (and people, namely from the clinic) I will be serving in Honduras all have a purpose, as well.  NPH is phenomenal at helping the pequenos realize their potential and ultimately their purpose.  I get to be part of that.  I get to be an instrument God uses to help others realize that they, too, are important and matter.

And that is an amazing and powerful thing.