HA. I laugh at myself from back then. Those families at the hospital who said I knew a lot of Spanish were clearly being generous. I seriously knew nothing, or at least it felt like nothing. So, I was eager to move into my host family’s home and begin classes.
I am extremely blessed to have an amazing teacher, Gaby. As I have said before, she is young, spunky and extremely knowledgeable in her native language. She herself works with a medical organization from Colorado as an interpreter (and other things), so has become knowledgeable with many things in the medical/nursing world. She is also a devout Christian. Seriously, could she be any more perfect for me?
I really thought that I would pick up Spanish quick and be able to converse with the people here. I have been here for almost a full four weeks, and I am sad to say it’s still a huge struggle. I have learned a TON, and am able to hold conversations, but they are not at the quality I thought they would be after a month.
My host family is so amazing on many levels, but they really don’t talk to me. I am thinking that maybe if I was able to talk to them more freely (without always feeling self conscious because they are going to get annoyed that I don’t understand them) I would have a little more confidence to hold conversations with others. I know it’s not their fault; it’s my own fear, worry, and doubt that are inhibiting me from just doing it. But, I really don’t want to look stupid.
As my mom and Gaby both have expressed… WHO CARES? I will always find a reason NOT to speak, but that is not helping anyone. It doesn’t help me learn, and it most definitely will not help those kids I am going to help. Why would they want to be with me if I can’t speak with them, or at least try, and know that they may make fun of me. Ha, kids will be kids.
I am sorry for the less than cheery post, but I did say I was going to be honest throughout this blogging adventure. I do ask that you please pray for me. Please pray for my ability to be open and embrace the language. Pray that my mind will clear of the doubt and worry, and to remind myself of God’s amazing call in my life.
I am praying for you all. LOVE YOU!